I admit, I have a thing for geeks. Some consider this odd, but to be honest, giving your local geek (the type that still shower, at least) a chance could be the best thing you ever do for your sexual sanity. Why, do you ask? Personal experience. Still don't trust me? Here's a few reasons:
1- Ability
Most geeks, yours truly included, have an interesting habit when it comes to the human compulsion to think about sex a lot. Instead of wasting the brain power on useless trains of thoght, we read up. Geeks train up. Read erotic stories. Read blogs. Imagine new positions and new ways to do naughty things to others. All this learning, when put to use, makes for a better-than-average lay, including interesting techniques and positions. For example- male partner (or partner A, if two guys are involved) straddling the female (partner B) across her torso above the waist. Partner B propped on a pillow, while partner A is sitting up. B gives A oral while partner A uses one hand for support and one hand to stimulate partner B. It can take some maneuvering to get the angles right, but worth it.
2- SmartSex.
Geeks are willing to use protection. Not only are they willing, but "hey, is it OK if I grab a condom?" is the ultimate question- asking both if you're OK with where things are going and signaling their intention. I have yet to meet a geek who will get angry or frustrated about being safe. Usually, they also carry their own protection, "just in case".
3- Not perfect? No Problem.
So you weren't expecting to get laid that night. So you forgot to shave your legs that morning. So you wore the ugly underwear because it's laundry day. So your sheets aren't perfectly made, and there are a few dirty dishes in your sink. A proper geek understands! Life happens and the impression you make on others isn't your 24-7 concern. Little stuff like this isn't an immediate deal-breaker like it would be for some. This also naturally leads into Morning Sex, one of the BEST ways to wake up.
4- Cuddling.
Geeks cuddle. This is because human touch can be at a premium for someone who talks about something other than the latest Survivor episode at the water cooler. The cuddling is usually the huggy, touchy, kissing-the-shoulder, stroking-the-hair kind of cuddling too, not the "fine, I'll let you lay on my arm" kind.
5- Decent conversation.
This should be self-explanatory. Geeks can and will talk about a very wide range of things even while trying to pick you up - or over breakfast in the morning.
6- Attentiveness
Geeks usually don't get laid every night. They are also usually good people who actually care about others. Add these two things up and you've got a bed buddy that will pay attention to what you like and want. You say something like "I enjoy it when you tug my hair" and they will actually grab a handful and gently tug. Say "I like deep kisses" and you'll have a deep kiss or twelve. I'm not saying geeks are wish-fulfillment machines, but they don't treat you like a piece of meat for nothing but their own enjoyment.
I could go on, but my point is - when you encounter someone who could be called a geek, but has enough social grace or balls to at least say hi - give them a chance. You'll miss out if you don't!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Trying it again
Everyone has that One. No no no, not The One, but the one person they've always intended to sleep with but never have for one reason or another. Mine happens to be The Boy From Las Vegas.
TBFLV and I have known each other, literally, for years. The first time we met we were both young enough to not do *all* that much, but old enough to feel dirty for taking our shirts off, skipping class, and kissing passionately while pushing up against a wall.
However, since I lived Not In Las Vegas, when we parted ways, we kept in touch but didn't see each other. Two years later, he visited my hometown. More dirty stuff happened, but I still wasn't ready to have sex. At this age, this was the right decision. There was, however, a hot moment in the hot tub I almost gave in. I was floating, holding onto the edge when he submerged himself and came up... right between my legs. Still, though, it didn't happen, and we parted ways again.
It was another three years before I visited Vegas. I had the hotel room, the condoms, and the drive. What ruined this perfect situation? I was on my period. And while I know one can have sex during that week, I was crampy, miserable, and really did not want to end up having lost my virginity in a miserable mood. So instead we had some very hot times in the gorgeous shower... and showers still get me horny as hell if I let them.
It's now been 4 years since we last saw each other. We've both lost our virginity quite assuredly, and we are still good friends... If it doesn't happen, he's still a friend I very much care for and it will change very little, if anything. If it does happen, then it will probably still change little, but it will be fun :)
TBFLV and I have known each other, literally, for years. The first time we met we were both young enough to not do *all* that much, but old enough to feel dirty for taking our shirts off, skipping class, and kissing passionately while pushing up against a wall.
However, since I lived Not In Las Vegas, when we parted ways, we kept in touch but didn't see each other. Two years later, he visited my hometown. More dirty stuff happened, but I still wasn't ready to have sex. At this age, this was the right decision. There was, however, a hot moment in the hot tub I almost gave in. I was floating, holding onto the edge when he submerged himself and came up... right between my legs. Still, though, it didn't happen, and we parted ways again.
It was another three years before I visited Vegas. I had the hotel room, the condoms, and the drive. What ruined this perfect situation? I was on my period. And while I know one can have sex during that week, I was crampy, miserable, and really did not want to end up having lost my virginity in a miserable mood. So instead we had some very hot times in the gorgeous shower... and showers still get me horny as hell if I let them.
It's now been 4 years since we last saw each other. We've both lost our virginity quite assuredly, and we are still good friends... If it doesn't happen, he's still a friend I very much care for and it will change very little, if anything. If it does happen, then it will probably still change little, but it will be fun :)
I'm sorry, I got my definition all over you...
I haven't posted in a while due to injury. Enough said.
One of the most frustrating things about any interaction between two (or three, or four, or more) people is the natural urge we all have to Name The Relationship. Sociologially and psychologically this makes sense- it not only gives an immediate way to associate people that are in front of you or being talked about, but it also gives a fairly basic set of social rules with which to define how you interact with people. If someone is introduced as a "roommate" they'll probably be treated very differently than if they were introduced as "my pastor."
Sometimes this naming is easy - "this is my friend" or "this is my sister's husband."
Other times, it gets more complicated. For example: is there really a term for the man you've known for years and are close to, have always intended to sleep with, but still haven't, but might just do sometime?
Or what about the guy you only kind of know in Everyday Life, but in the kink/swingers groups hang out with constantly and have messed around with?
Or the woman you lived with, haven't messed around with, but have indirectly shared several partners (including exes, significant others, and one-night stands) with?
The point is, sometimes "friend" just doesn't cover it.
One of the most frustrating things about any interaction between two (or three, or four, or more) people is the natural urge we all have to Name The Relationship. Sociologially and psychologically this makes sense- it not only gives an immediate way to associate people that are in front of you or being talked about, but it also gives a fairly basic set of social rules with which to define how you interact with people. If someone is introduced as a "roommate" they'll probably be treated very differently than if they were introduced as "my pastor."
Sometimes this naming is easy - "this is my friend" or "this is my sister's husband."
Other times, it gets more complicated. For example: is there really a term for the man you've known for years and are close to, have always intended to sleep with, but still haven't, but might just do sometime?
Or what about the guy you only kind of know in Everyday Life, but in the kink/swingers groups hang out with constantly and have messed around with?
Or the woman you lived with, haven't messed around with, but have indirectly shared several partners (including exes, significant others, and one-night stands) with?
The point is, sometimes "friend" just doesn't cover it.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Two Responses (and their consequences)
There are a lot of ways people often choose to respond during banter or a disagreement that they often think will stop the conversation short. And while I don't ALWAYS have to get the last word in, there are two responses that I've come to keep close to the top of my arsenal.
The first is fairly simple. If someone sticks their tongue out at you - then a quick "don't stick that out unless you intend to use it" will often not only stop the argument, but has been known several times in the past to lead to an immediate french kiss - or more.
Example - laying in bed in the afterglow, I happened to make a statement to my partner that she certainly finished quickly, and I took that as a compliment to my skills rather than a comment on her desire to get to class on time. She stuck her tongue out- and after being told to use it she decided that the best way to use it would be to work her way down between my legs... and neither of us happened to make it to class that morning. Whoops :-D
The second requires a more delicate approach. When someone chooses to respond with the time honored "F you", then one must A-judge the situation for just HOW angry they are, and B-if appropriate (or sometimes when not) ask - "Is that an offer or a promise, darlin'"? Substitute your favorite term for "darlin'" if you so desire, but often, this particular question not only takes them off guard, but diffuses a situation quickly.
Example - a particular drag queen that tends to be rather antagonistic towards me decided one night to pull out the "F you". When the question was presented, she stopped short. And while I may not have gotten any that night, the male friend I was with later informed me that it was an offer - just once removed. Perhaps not the MOST successful on my part, but once-removed success still counts.
So, next time you're presented with a "conversation ending" moment, but a signature DisIntercourses spin on the moment and see what happens.
The first is fairly simple. If someone sticks their tongue out at you - then a quick "don't stick that out unless you intend to use it" will often not only stop the argument, but has been known several times in the past to lead to an immediate french kiss - or more.
Example - laying in bed in the afterglow, I happened to make a statement to my partner that she certainly finished quickly, and I took that as a compliment to my skills rather than a comment on her desire to get to class on time. She stuck her tongue out- and after being told to use it she decided that the best way to use it would be to work her way down between my legs... and neither of us happened to make it to class that morning. Whoops :-D
The second requires a more delicate approach. When someone chooses to respond with the time honored "F you", then one must A-judge the situation for just HOW angry they are, and B-if appropriate (or sometimes when not) ask - "Is that an offer or a promise, darlin'"? Substitute your favorite term for "darlin'" if you so desire, but often, this particular question not only takes them off guard, but diffuses a situation quickly.
Example - a particular drag queen that tends to be rather antagonistic towards me decided one night to pull out the "F you". When the question was presented, she stopped short. And while I may not have gotten any that night, the male friend I was with later informed me that it was an offer - just once removed. Perhaps not the MOST successful on my part, but once-removed success still counts.
So, next time you're presented with a "conversation ending" moment, but a signature DisIntercourses spin on the moment and see what happens.
The One Demographic I Cannot Fulfill
Hanging out at Gay Bar this last weekend, playing wingwoman for a friend. He was off on the dance floor dancing away with someone, and the couple I'd been talking to from a nearby large city had left. Because it was fairly late, I planted myself by the pool table and planned on settling in for at least another hour or so of people-watching.
Now, usually, I don't get hit on in the gay bars. The lesbians aren't really my flavor, or perhaps I'm not theirs. I'm missing particular bits that would make me attractive to gay boys. Therefore, I usually amuse myself by people-watching and joking around with the drag queens.
That night, however, a guy playing pool actually started talking to me. He was decently attractive, and seemed nice enough. I assumed, at first, he was just being friendly and saying hello. However, when he kept chatting and making the semi-obvious comments about where he was spending the night, I realized that he was chatting me up. Yay! Talk about a confidence booster on one of the worst "fat days" I've had in a long while.
I, of course, sat in a way my cleavage was obvious. I judged if I'd have to kick him out of bed that night or in the morning. About an hour in, I had to excuse myself to go the the ladies room- and told him I'd be right back.
When I got back, however, he looked a bit confused. When I sat back down, he looked very intently at my chest (which, considering the shirt I was wearing, is entirely justifiable) then said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were *actually* a woman. Have a good night" and promptly walked off.
Exiting the bar, I saw him chatting up the queen that is a similar height and built in a similar weight range. (Over six feet and well-padded.) I realize that this blog doesn't (and won't) show pictures - but I assure you, I do NOT look like a drag queen unless I wear a pound of makeup - which I simply don't. And my DD bras are well-filled, thank you very much.
Hey, at least I know I was *almost* his type. Minus that whole being-mistaken-for-a-drag-queen bit.
Now, usually, I don't get hit on in the gay bars. The lesbians aren't really my flavor, or perhaps I'm not theirs. I'm missing particular bits that would make me attractive to gay boys. Therefore, I usually amuse myself by people-watching and joking around with the drag queens.
That night, however, a guy playing pool actually started talking to me. He was decently attractive, and seemed nice enough. I assumed, at first, he was just being friendly and saying hello. However, when he kept chatting and making the semi-obvious comments about where he was spending the night, I realized that he was chatting me up. Yay! Talk about a confidence booster on one of the worst "fat days" I've had in a long while.
I, of course, sat in a way my cleavage was obvious. I judged if I'd have to kick him out of bed that night or in the morning. About an hour in, I had to excuse myself to go the the ladies room- and told him I'd be right back.
When I got back, however, he looked a bit confused. When I sat back down, he looked very intently at my chest (which, considering the shirt I was wearing, is entirely justifiable) then said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were *actually* a woman. Have a good night" and promptly walked off.
Exiting the bar, I saw him chatting up the queen that is a similar height and built in a similar weight range. (Over six feet and well-padded.) I realize that this blog doesn't (and won't) show pictures - but I assure you, I do NOT look like a drag queen unless I wear a pound of makeup - which I simply don't. And my DD bras are well-filled, thank you very much.
Hey, at least I know I was *almost* his type. Minus that whole being-mistaken-for-a-drag-queen bit.
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