The One Demographic I Cannot Fulfill

Hanging out at Gay Bar this last weekend, playing wingwoman for a friend. He was off on the dance floor dancing away with someone, and the couple I'd been talking to from a nearby large city had left. Because it was fairly late, I planted myself by the pool table and planned on settling in for at least another hour or so of people-watching.

Now, usually, I don't get hit on in the gay bars. The lesbians aren't really my flavor, or perhaps I'm not theirs. I'm missing particular bits that would make me attractive to gay boys. Therefore, I usually amuse myself by people-watching and joking around with the drag queens.

That night, however, a guy playing pool actually started talking to me. He was decently attractive, and seemed nice enough. I assumed, at first, he was just being friendly and saying hello. However, when he kept chatting and making the semi-obvious comments about where he was spending the night, I realized that he was chatting me up. Yay! Talk about a confidence booster on one of the worst "fat days" I've had in a long while.

I, of course, sat in a way my cleavage was obvious. I judged if I'd have to kick him out of bed that night or in the morning. About an hour in, I had to excuse myself to go the the ladies room- and told him I'd be right back.

When I got back, however, he looked a bit confused. When I sat back down, he looked very intently at my chest (which, considering the shirt I was wearing, is entirely justifiable) then said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were *actually* a woman. Have a good night" and promptly walked off.

Exiting the bar, I saw him chatting up the queen that is a similar height and built in a similar weight range. (Over six feet and well-padded.) I realize that this blog doesn't (and won't) show pictures - but I assure you, I do NOT look like a drag queen unless I wear a pound of makeup - which I simply don't. And my DD bras are well-filled, thank you very much.

Hey, at least I know I was *almost* his type. Minus that whole being-mistaken-for-a-drag-queen bit.