Tall Woman

The questions I hear
Because I am fairly obvious, in some online circles, about my height and size, every once in a while I get a horny net geek of some flavor asking me 10000 questions specifically about my height and or size. They always try to be "subtle" and it never works. Today as I was humoring another one of these, I realized I've answered most of these questions many many many times.

Mostly I answer them because they aren't really personally identifiable, and I recognize that there are curious people. There are questions I won't answer, but that's usually determined by how nice someone has been to me and/or what kind of a mood I'm in as opposed to the question itself.

However, for those of you who are really *that* interested in fetishizing height - here's the top 10 or so questions I usually get asked.

1- How tall are you?
Six foot four inches. On a good day.

2- No, how tall are you really?
What reason did I have to lie to you in the first place? Do you think I tell people I'm six four just for the hell of it? Because I think it will be fun? Since "how tall are you" is usually the opening line of the hng, it's tempting to lie. However, at this point, I'm willing to entertain the idea that perhaps they are another tall woman looking to talk shop. That, and I tend to not lie. It's not my thing. So don't insult me by assuming that the first two lines of conversation I have with you are a lie.

3- Do you like being that tall?
What kind of question is this. It's not like being tall is the one controlling factor of my life, 24-7. Sure, some days I love it. Other days I hate it. I've never known anything different- I've been "taller" than most my age for as long as I can remember.

4- What size shoes do you wear?
This is usually where I separate those that are interested in my feet from those interested in my height. Or even if it's someone who is just curious, it's also usually where I start getting frustrated and annoyed. I wear big shoes. Yes, I have to special-order them. Yes, I have to go to drag-queen-supply vendors to actually buy some of my best shoes and boots.

5- What's the tallest heel you wear?
Again, why the hell does it really matter? Five and a half inches, if you have to know. Yes, I like wearing those shoes.

6- Would you date a shorter man?
At this point, I'm assuming you're a horny net geek for a thing with tall women. Nothing wrong with that, but damn, talk about reducing yourself down to one thing. Does being shorter define your life? Do you like people peppering you with questions about nothing but the one unusual physical characteristic about you, then saying "but would you date someone like that"? Sorry, unless you're paying me a significant amount of money, I'm going to forever remain a multi-dimensional human being.
And when it comes to those I have been with (the entire range from committed relationship to one night stand, both men and women) most have been shorter than me. I'd get significatnly less play if I insisted that everyone be taller than me. This doesn't mean I'm going to "date" (however you define that) you, the creep asking me this question.

7- Do you play basketball?
I'm not even going add validity to this question by offering an answer.

8- I am (insert height measurement here) tall. Where on you would I come up to?
This seems to be a gentle way of asking "would I be looking directly at your chest? Since that's where you'd be looking at anyway, the answer doesn't really matter.

9- Would you bend down to kiss someone?
Not you. Not after playing 20-questions. (OK, there was that one game of twenty questions at a party... but that was the fun kind. And I wasn't the only one answering questions.)

10- What's your inseam?
Ah, the ones with a thing for long legs. Or the ones who want me to keep talking but don't know what else to ask. It's longer than most women's pants. Enough said.

11- Would you...
Oh god. I get such a list of things under this one. Some of the samplings (and I am not joking about a single one of these) are:
~stomp on bugs with big heels?
~kick over your head?
~wrap your legs around (insert body part here)?
~send me pictures of your feet?
~send me pictures of your legs?
~send me pictures of etc etc etc
~look over the bathroom stall door at me?

The list goes on.

The point is, be nice, treat me like a human, and get to know me, and I'll probably happily answer any of your questions and/or indulge your weird fantasies. I am tall, I usually like it, and I find it oddly powerful at times. This doesn't mean I like to play 20 questions about it all the freaking time.

Get it? Got it? Good.